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12.03.2008

Be Assertive, B-E Assertive!

I heard on the radio today that Minnesota is near the top of the list for the most courteous drivers. I beg to differ. There really are few people in the world that I don't like, but I can openly name three to name a few. If you are one of these people, I'm sorry, but I honestly cannot like you anymore.

1. People who do not and absolutely will not stop or slow down for an emergency vehicle or a police officer. SERIOUSLY?!? Your life and your drive to get to work or to get home four seconds sooner than normal is so much more important than the innocent life the ambulance driver is risking their own life to save. And yes, you are out there... sooo many of you. Just yesterday I was driving on 494 during rush hour, and an ambulance came rushing up from behind... maneuvering through the traffic and sometimes driving over onto the shoulder. Many people slowed down and maybe even one other person besides me stopped. But no sooner had they gotten past me that they had to STOP in traffic (for minutes!) and wait for drivers who so badly needed to get onto the interstate from the Penn ramp that they would go in front of an ambulance with sirens flashing and horns blaring. This is the LAW people, and more than that the person who's life is hanging on by strings inside that ambulance could be someone that you are rushing so quickly to get home and see.

2. My fellow drivers out there who drive so close to my bumper that if I were to even tap the brakes you'd probably smash through my backseat. I will never ever understand why even just hanging back a few more feet is unacceptable to you. This does indeed fall into the same category as that person who pushes the gas so hard once the light turns green that they might actually push it through the floor. Good luck, my friend. I hope that you now have saved up so many seconds in your life from following so close to me and speeding to the next red light that you will use that extra time for good somewhere else. But frankly, I don't think you will.

3. Lastly, the third person I don't like is the smoker/driver. The smoker is bad enough, but I won't get into that. It's the smoker/driver that really gets me. I wish every car came with a little tray that you could pull out and place all your cigarette butts into. Maybe that little tray could even be sort of a pull-out contraption that you could actually remove to dispose of all your cigarette butts once you got home, so that you wouldn't have to throw out your disgusting burning garbage from your disgusting deadly habits out onto the road and at my car and in the grass, lakes, sidewalks, etc. Maybe someday when I invent that little cigarette butt pull-out contraption the world will be a better place. Or wait, that exists already?!?

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